Tight Rope Acts

A few days ago I received results of the scans I had done the previous week. Thankfully the images showed improvements compared to the previous set of images. “We see a decrease in numbers and less in size,” – the doctor said.  With that she made a couple changes to my regimen and off I went with mixed emotions; excited by the progress, but continuing to wonder how long I could continue this tight rope act?

Going to the circus a few times as a kid, watching the tight rope walkers left me with a knot in my tummy. Ah, but remember the safety net below? Possessing only a slight sense of balance with the scarred, skinned knees to prove it, perhaps I could traverse wide, flat surfaces and big, fat bicycle tires. Now I am traversing a thin path with Neupogen (the White Count booster) hoping it does the job so I can continue to take the chemo that keeps me alive. The next set of images ordered for July should really tell us how well the chemo has done killing the cancer masses. Until then? What then?

It’s simply time to apply by faith my confidence concerning Jesus, my Savior and Good Shepherd.  While on the tight wire, remember Jesus said we can move mountains with faith as small as a mustard seed (Mt. 17:20). We will reach the plans set before us, not because we can muster up enough faith, but because of Him. We place our minuscule amount of faith in Jesus and we have true confidence.  He is our safety net, and so much more!  Don’t think about drugs one day failing and resignation to Hospice care.  Unless cancer has made us immobile, it’s useless to just sit and wait for Jesus to come. When His disciples asked Him if the time for His kingdom had come (Acts 1), His reply was simple. They were to wait for the Holy Spirit to give them the power they would undoubtedly need as they were then led to go out and spread the Word of God to every creature under Heaven…until He calls us home!

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In His Strength

As of this writing I’ve experienced two total periods of complete hair loss. (FTR I was born with a full head of curly hair.) Strong medicine is needed to kill the bully – cancer. When bunches and gobs end up in the brush, on the floor or in my hand, it’s time to get drastic and crop it as close as can be. Whatever is done to downplay the altered body image, it’s important to remember the Lord’s interested in refining the hidden person of the heart. (1 Peter 3:1-10, 2 Corinthians 4:16). Though the outward man is perishing the incorruptible inward man is being renewed day by day. We could perhaps do without such a drastic character building lesson but would the lesson be as long lasting?

Going bald is hardly in the top ten on anyone’s life goal list, but it can be one of many expected outcomes to chemotherapy infusions. Because hair loss is so visible, it is the one side effect we fear more than some other truly debilitating conditions. Wow! There’s nothing to be done to stop the locks from landing on the floor. When you are in round 2 of this process like me, it’s hard not to wonder when the cancer will really be gone and will the “crowning glory” grow back a second time. Relying on Jesus Christ to carry this load is irrefutable. So inclined are we to take credit for anything good going on, it seems only natural to say our own personal strength got us through. The Apostle Paul honestly admits Christ alone gave him the strength to “do all things.” (Philippians 4:13) and (2 Corinthians 11:25) illustrated many ways Paul was tested through trials.

I’ve been praying a lot lately that the Holy Spirit will provide His strength to go the distance by the power of God. As the old hymn goes, "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." 

For more posts from Comfort In Christ Cancer Support go to http://comfortinchristcancersupport.blogspot.com

More than Meets the Eye

When very caring people lovingly ask me ‘how I’m doing’ usually somewhere in the conversation I feel the awkwardness of how to respond to the statement – “You look so good.” Even though they’re saying I don’t look as though I have cancer, which I’ve learned to take as a compliment to the Lord, there’s always more than meets the eye. The challenge with anything physical is that the outward might appear good, but the inside is anything but good. I guess it’s best to remember that outside does not  always reveal the inside.  One recent example is an MRI scan I had done less than a week ago. Although I’m looking okay, only the scan could go past the outside and catch multiple cancerous nodes found in my (remaining) right lung. 

There’s a stereotypical idea of what people with cancer should look like.  Pale skin, yellow complexion, thinning or no hair, weight gain, weight loss, unsteady gait, and maybe oxygen dependent are a few of the outward features that come to mind.  People may experience one or more of these side effects at various stages of treatment depending on how long it’s been since they were first diagnosed. The biggest change that’s occurred and endured for me is thinner and straighter hair; much straighter hair. I was bald for at least 6 months in between; wearing a wig during daytime work hours and switching to a scarf or cap in the evenings. For me it was easier to don the wig every day, rather than re-tell the cancer story countless times to those who hadn’t discerned the difference in my appearance.  After I stopped taking chemo my hair grew back straight, straight, straight. Early on, I hoped those tempted to say they liked it better curly would get a little tongue tied.  Too fragile to perm, it’s just going to remain straight for awhile.

I’m so glad the Lord loves us so much, and thankfully His love isn’t contingent upon our outward appearance. When the prophet Samuel was sent to Bethlehem to anoint the next King of Israel, the Lord eliminated any possible contenders based on physical attributes and instead (in David) the youngest, most inexperienced son. He proclaimed his selection process this way:

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

It’s good to remember it is better to enter Heaven ‘maimed’ on the outside than have that door kept closed by refusing to wholeheartedly receive Jesus Christ. (Matthew 18, Mark 9)  After all, these old, earthly tents weren’t made to enter Heaven. What will the completely transformed bodies be like? Look like? The scriptures are chock full of gems on this subject to treasure. Yet as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9).  Praise God He will reveal so much to us if we’ll only listen, allowing His Word to penetrate deep inside.

Thorns and Thistles

In the early days of my walk with Jesus, "From a Distance", a non-Christian song popular in 1987 played the air waves. The song insisted God was watching over us, bringing harmony and peace on earth; there is no more war and we are all friends. One day that will be the truth of the matter, but only when Jesus comes again to rule and reign. (Check it out from Isaiah 65:20-25)

"No more shall an infant from there live but a few days, Nor an old man who has not fulfilled his days; For the child shall die one hundred years old, But the sinner being one hundred years old shall be accursed.They shall build houses and inhabit them; They shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.They shall not build and another inhabit; They shall not plant and another eat; For as the days of a tree, so shall be the days of My people, And My elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.They shall not labor in vain, Nor bring forth children for trouble; For they shall be the descendants of the blessed of the Lord, And their offspring with them."It shall come to pass That before they call, I will answer; And while they are still speaking, I will hear. The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, The lion shall eat straw like the ox, And dust shall be the serpent's food. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain," says the Lord."

WOW – what a time to look forward to. In the meantime…space explorers peering through port holes at planet earth might not see the thorns and thistles on the deserts below, but they know the fruit of sin is there. Those things that mar the beauty fade away at a distance, all but disappearing and blending into almost indistinguishable hues. From a distance only keen weather watchers can see storms brewing below. Even though we cannot see past the physical, there is One who can.

In the layers underneath the physical attributes of earth God does see all: the futile attempts at peace and harmony, as well as the real causes of war and bloodshed circling our globe. Scripture puts it this way: 

You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:2-7, 24,25)

The Psalm writer, (shepherd, musician, King) David, recognized the all pervasive and far reaching effects of sin in our lives and the Lord’s ability to peer into every nook and cranny, sweep the corners clean, and lead us into the way, the truth and life. (John 14:6) Thorns and thistles, cancer and diseases were not included in God’s original plan for us. He loved us so much that He died for us at just the right time to pay a debt he didn't owe.  Only God can see past the physical, and only God can solve the spiritual dilemma that plagues every generation of mankind. 

For more posts from Comfort in Christ Cancer Support go to  http://comfortinchristcancersupport.blogspot.com/ To receive automatic email updates of new posts, send an email request to: comfortinchrist@googlegroups.com